Feedback. The word alone makes most people sweat like they’ve just been asked to do karaoke naked in front of their boss.
I used to hate it. It felt like standing naked under a fluorescent light while someone pointed out every flaw. Palms clammy, heart racing, convinced I wasn’t good enough. “Can I give you some feedback?” wasn’t a gift. It was an alarm bell.
This is the uncomfortable truth: career growth feedback feels awful at first – but it’s also the fastest way to accelerate your growth. Because feedback isn’t a firing squad, it’s a cheat code. The fastest growth accelerator I’ve ever found.
The Cheat Code Angle – Why Career Growth Feedback Works
Career growth feedback is the cheat code nobody wants to use because it looks like pain in the short term. It’s like broccoli for your career. Nobody wakes up craving it, but it’s the stuff that actually makes you stronger. Skip it, and you end up like every washed-up office politician you’ve ever met – running at full tilt into walls you didn’t even know existed and then blaming “the system.”
For me, that cheat code came wrapped in some brutal lines:
- “Stop trying to be good at things you’re crap at.”
- “Maybe you’re just not driven enough.”
- “You are far too controlling”
- “You’re trying to be too many things to too many people.”
- “Your emails come across as cold.” (I thought they were “efficient.” They weren’t.)
- “You disrupt people mid-sentence without realising it.”
It stung. But the more I leaned into asking for and acting on career growth feedback, the more I built trust. And once people trust you, they invest in making you better – because your growth fuels everyone’s growth.
Netflix: Candor as Culture
Netflix calls this candor in their values:
“You willingly receive and give feedback; you are open about what’s working and what needs to improve; you admit mistakes openly and share learnings widely.”
Sounds neat, right? But here’s the thing, this isn’t just some HR PowerPoint nonsense written by an intern on too much oat milk. It’s the cultural backbone described by Reed Hastings (Netflix co-founder and longtime CEO) and Erin Meyer (INSEAD professor and author of The Culture Map) in their book No Rules Rules: Netflix and the Culture of Reinvention.
At Netflix, candor isn’t about people running around being brutally honest for sport, like Simon Cowell at an open mic night. It’s about making feedback a two-way obligation: leaders are expected to give it, and just as importantly, to receive it without defensiveness.
Hastings and Meyer explain the rule simply: say what you really think, but do it with positive intent. Most companies run on “polite lies” – everyone nodding politely in the meeting and then rolling their eyes so hard at the coffee machine afterwards they nearly dislocate an optic nerve. Netflix replaces that circus with candor: clear the air, solve problems faster, and avoid your business rotting from the inside like a forgotten Tupperware in the office fridge.
Ted Lasso: Feedback with Humanity
And if Netflix gave us the corporate manual, Ted Lasso gave us the human one.
For those who haven’t watched it, Ted Lasso is an Apple TV+ series about an American football coach hired to manage a struggling English Premier League soccer team – despite having zero experience with the sport. On paper, it sounds like the kind of idea that gets greenlit at 2am after too many gin and tonics: “What if we put Forrest Gump in charge of Manchester United?”
And yet, somehow, it works. What should’ve been a car crash turned into one of the most acclaimed leadership shows of the last decade, winning multiple Emmy Awards and being hailed as a masterclass in kindness, vulnerability, and radical candor.
Anyone who wants to be a better leader should watch the show – not just for entertainment, but to be open to the lessons it poses. Lasso proves that feedback can be honest without being cruel, direct without being demeaning, and growth-focused without destroying trust.
Here’s Ted Lasso’s career growth feedback playbook:
- Pair honesty with care → Critique the behaviour, not the person.
- Be curious, not judgmental → Ask before you assume.
- Show vulnerability as strength → Panic attacks > pretending you’re bulletproof.
- Deliver hard truths with compassion → Tell people what they need to hear, not what they want.
- Own your mistakes → Apologise properly. Not the “sorry you feel that way” nonsense.
- Empower feedback in all directions → Even the kit man gets a say.
Friends, Colleagues, and the Role of Challengers
Here’s where most people go wrong: who they ask.
- Friends are often hopeless at feedback. Not because they don’t care, but because they care too much. They want to cheerlead, not challenge. Great for life growth – not for professional growth.
- Colleagues are sharper. They want you better because your performance impacts theirs. Their honesty sharpens you.
And the real gold? Challengers. The ones who poke holes, stress-test your ideas, and gleefully point out the spinach in your teeth. They’re not there to agree with you. They’re there to make you bulletproof.
Receiving Career Growth Feedback – The Hard Part
Asking for feedback is the easy part. Actually receiving career growth feedback? That’s where most of us fall apart faster than a packet of Salticrax in the rain. The second you hear something you don’t like, your brain panics and your mouth sprints into damage control. Suddenly you’re blurting out classics like:
- “I hear you, but…”
- “That’s not what I meant…”
- “You don’t understand the context…”
Congratulations – you’ve just cancelled the feedback, wasted the moment, and made yourself look like a Labrador caught eating the couch cushions.
“You asked for feedback. What you do with it is your problem, not theirs.”
The rule is simple:
- Don’t interrupt.
- Don’t defend.
- At most, ask for an example or clarification.
Take it, use it, or leave it. But don’t debate it – that’s not what you asked for. If you drag the other person into a courtroom-style argument, all that happens is they’ll avoid giving you honest feedback in the future. And then you’ll be back where you started: blissfully ignorant and slowly turning into the office version of that uncle who thinks WhatsApp forwards count as research.
The Timing of Feedback
Even the best career growth feedback can flop if the timing is wrong. Some situations call for immediate course correction – like when someone unknowingly derails a meeting. Other times, feedback lands better with space, after the emotion of the moment has cooled. A well-timed conversation can turn feedback into a gift. Bad timing makes it feel like being ambushed in the office kitchen while you’re holding a half-eaten muffin.
The Power of Positive Feedback
Feedback isn’t only about what needs fixing. Positive feedback matters just as much, Maybe more. It reinforces what’s working, builds confidence, and signals the behaviours people should double down on. Without it, a culture of feedback risks becoming a culture of criticism. Celebrating what’s good creates the balance that makes people open to hearing what needs to change.
The Bias in Feedback
Not all career growth feedback is equal. Sometimes what you’re hearing says more about the giver than it does about you. Bias, personal preference, even insecurity can creep in. That’s why it’s dangerous to take a single comment as gospel. The trick is to look for patterns: if three people tell you the same thing, pay attention. If it’s one person’s opinion, weigh it – but don’t be ruled by it.
Why We Resist Career Growth Feedback
So why does career growth feedback feel so brutal? Ego and biology.
Your brain doesn’t know the difference between “your emails sound cold” and “there’s a lion behind you.” It just knows: DANGER! Cue sweaty palms, a racing heart, and an overwhelming desire to fight, run, or pretend to be very busy in Excel until the danger passes.
It’s ridiculous when you think about it. A colleague telling you to delegate more is not, in fact, a sabre-toothed tiger. But your nervous system doesn’t care – it goes DEFCON 1 anyway.
The trick is recognising that sensation for what it is – biology, not reality. Once you learn to sit in that discomfort, you can hear what’s being said without spiralling into self-defence. Growth starts when you realise your caveman brain is throwing a tantrum, not your colleague.
Giving Feedback – Audience Awareness
Botch giving feedback and you’re basically that person who reheats fish in the office microwave – technically allowed, universally hated.
The golden rule: ask before you give it.
“Would you like some feedback?” If they say no, walk away. Nobody needs unsolicited career growth feedback from the office know-it-all who treats every conversation like a TED Talk.
Then, tailor how you deliver it:
- With juniors or mid-level colleagues → soften the edges, but keep it constructive.
- With peers or seniors → lean into candor. They don’t need babysitting (at least they shouldn’t)
Your responsibility as the giver is to ensure it lands. Their responsibility as the receiver is to absorb, not defend. Anything else, and you’re not helping – you’re just the human version of Clippy popping up to say “It looks like you’re writing a report. Would you like some help?”
The Trust Dividend
Here’s the kicker: the more career growth feedback you seek and act on, the more trust you build.
And trust is everything. Without it, feedback dries up. With it, people will tell you the truth, even the ugly bits, because they know you won’t bite their heads off. That’s when real progress happens.
Think of it like compound interest. Every time you listen and act, you’re making a deposit. Keep doing it, and suddenly you’ve built a reputation for being someone who actually gets better. Ignore it, and you’ll burn through goodwill faster than a student loan refund in a pub.
Feedback builds trust. Trust builds growth. Ignore both, and you’ll end up being the person everyone avoids in the lift.
Closing – Flip Your Narrative
“Feedback isn’t a bruise, it’s a mirror.”
Flip your view of criticism, and you flip the speed of your growth. The fastest way forward isn’t to prove you’re right – it’s to invite others to show you where you’re wrong.
Here’s the cheat code in three steps:
- Ask → Find your challengers and invite their honesty.
- Listen → No “buts,” no excuses. Just hear it.
- Act → Absorb what’s useful, ditch what isn’t, and show you can change.
Do that, and feedback stops being fluorescent-light torture. It becomes rocket fuel.
What About You?
What’s the toughest piece of career growth feedback you’ve ever received — and how did it shape you?
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